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Black and White
In our mission to maintain mental toughness and mental strength we need to look at and dispute the errors in our thinking. These "thinking errors" are referred to as inferences by cognitive therapists. Inferences are assumptions of what we think is going on, has happened or will happen. They are statements of what we believe are the facts and go beyond the immediate and observable evidence. They can, be true or false, helpful or unhelpful, rational or irrational. Inferences are often gross distortions of reality. This article focuses on one of the most common and unhelpful forms of inferences called "Black and White" thinking
As suggested in the name, black and white thinking occurs when we think of things as being polarised to either one extreme or the other, without acknowledging or taking into account the possibility of any grey areas or middle ground. Such as
The boss is always right.
If you don't love me, you must hate me.
If you are not smart, then you must be stupid.
If you are not thin, then you are fat.
If you are not for us, then you are against us.
If it's not true, then it's a lie
All or nothing
Stay or go
Right or wrong
Yes or no
Good or evil
Excellent or awful
Love or hate
Winners or losers
Here's an everyday example. A student may view an exam result of 95% or above as evidence that he is intelligent, whereas a score of 85% will prove that he is brainless and thick. As we can see from this example, black and white thinking is common in those of us with perfectionist traits and can lead to feelings of inferiority.
Black and white thinking can also lead to anxiety and low self-worth. For example, if we are at a social event and someone we find attractive doesn't make eye contact, we may jump to the negative conclusion that we are disliked and ugly. However, if they smile at us, we may jump to the opposite conclusion and see this as proof, that we are desirable and worthwhile.
Sometimes, when we are stressed and emotionally overwhelmed we may fall into black and white thinking. When we are anxious and cannot think and reason clearly, we may opt for an "either...or..." solution. Doing this may give us quick relief from our distress and bring a temporary end to our discomfort but we may have lost the chance to come up with a more flexible, practical or helpful solution. This is the self-defeating thinking that we used as frustrated children, when our thinking was less developed. When people are stressed they often regress and "throw their toys out of the pram". For example:
"If I can't have designer trainers, I don't want anything",
"If I'm in goal, I'm not playing... it's my ball and I'm going home"
"If you don't call me, you don't care about me"
"I want my stapler or I can't work"
"Who took my chair, I'm leaving"
"I must have my mug or no coffee"...boo hoo...sob, sob...whinge, whinge..."
If this sounds like your office, my details are below.
During these times of global recession and uncertainty, it is understandable that some people may get overwhelmed and distressed. However, we must resist the urge to revert to simplistic and polarised thinking. In a recession we need progressive thinking rather than regressive thinking. It's also worth bearing in mind, that black and white thinking is used in cults were no alternatives are given and freethinking is not allowed.
Stay flexible, remain creative, adapt and survive
Regards
Phil Pearl
Phil Pearl DCH, DHP, MCH, GHR Reg
Clinical Hypnotherapist
Mental Toughness, Resilience & Hypnotherapy
10 Harley Street
London
W1G 9PF
Tel: 020 7467 8548
phil@mental-toughness.co.uk
http://www.mental-toughness.co.uk